A broken door is a sign of love :

Three dresses, a lovely couple, tons of food, barrels of alcohol, a broken door and lots of red: that's a Chinese wedding in a nutshell.
It's been almost two month ago since I had the privilege to take part in Rena's, my HR buddies wedding. I was pretty excited but also quite a bit nervous before going there, since I was to be the only laowai (expression employed for foreigners; with a slightly mocking tone to it) present, among what turned out to be quite a big crowd: 170 persons.

So here we go: a Chinese wedding seen with the eyes of a laowai:

• Making one's way to the bride To get to Rena, waiting eagerly on the bed in her family's house, dressed in white, beautifully rouged and wearing flowers in the hair, was easier for us than Bai Hao, her husband: While we sneaked in before the door was closed, he had to convince 3 of Rena's girlfriends - tough guardians of the door - to let him pass to his wife. Tough negotiations, I can tell you: He started off with words, minstrel-like, failed (because of the stubbornness of the 3 guardians ;) ) and then passed on to bribing. He filled red envelopes with money and slipped one after the other over the threshold into the hands of the three guardians. Oh yes, greedy they were these girlfriends. But hey, a bride is not just one of these random things to take away. Hence: negotiations continued. One more and more desperate husband vs. three greedy, stubborn but very witty guardians. After 10 mins Bai Hao tried to increase his bargaining power by showing some force. He started forcing the door. The strategy, in combination with an additional red, slightly thicker envelope worked: the guardians were satisfied and ready to open the door. BUT, the husband forgot to take one consequence of his slightly brutish negotiation strategy into account: While he did never intend to force the door open completely but to simply threaten, he rammed it enough to block it. Result: even once the guardians were appeased he could not enter the room! Result: he, together with some of his friends broke their way into the room: Minus one door, but plus one happy bride.. (and groom, of course) ;) (btw: at least the last part is not usually an ingredient of a Chinese wedding; but definitely funny!! ;))

• How to set the bride free One in the room Bai Hao was to ask for the permission of his parents in law to actually take the bride away. I admit that I did not understand everything he said, but I could clearly see his impressive bows (at least 45°) and the happy smile on the happy parents in law's face. Permission granted.
• How to dress the bride One more task to fulfil. The bride, an apple in one hand (sign for good luck) a mirror (to keep the evil spirits and/or bad luck away) in the other, wore only one shoe. So hey, what to do as a gentle husband: look for the second shoe, which was, according to Chinese tradition, hidden somewhere in the brides room. In casu the shoe was hidden in a plastic bag carried by Rena's most beautiful niece. "Handing over the shoe? Well, how much can you offer." Hehe, a small red envelope and the shoe was Bai Hao's. Well then, the bride was ready to go.
• The caravan to the restaurant Polished, black Audi A6 took the guest, a silvery Volvo the bridal couple to a nice restaurant in the neighbourhood.
  
• Marilyn and Arnold's arrival Confetti all over; Firecrackers filling the air with smoke and causing the floor to tremble; Guests in colourful dresses and at least two BIG smiles: this the arrival of the couple at the restaurant. Rena and Bai Hao said good bye to their car and hi to every single of the numerous guests. Off we go to...
• Tons of food, barrels of alcohol and a "Beni Turnherr-ish" moderator Chinese are great hosts. In order to be a great guest you have to be starving, have a lion-sized stomach and an alcohol tolerance similar to the one of anyone who has lived in Australia for an extended period of time. Some of the food was interesting and good, some simply good.
  
• Speeches and introductions The whole wedding was moderated by a somewhat Beni Turnherdesque fellow, who announced the different parts and entertained the crowd. I was especially touched when Rena's fathered welcomed the family, the friends and the laowai. ;) I really felt at ease even though I understood only 1%, which is about the amount of the food on the table I could eat before surrendering due to an imminent risk of explosion, of what he said. A great, very hospitable shu shu!
  
• A polite husband is a drunken husband Tradition wants it that the groom has to pass from one table to the other in order to welcome every guest individually. In China this means as much as: down a shot of Baijiu (pretty strong (Baijiu is generally about 80 to 120 proof (40-60% pure alcohol)) Chinese booze distilled from sorghum, although sometimes other grains may be used. Extremely potent and rather blerk in taste; actually: really bleeeeerk in taste) with everyone. A shot with 170 guests?? Well, of course the groom started of with having his drinks served from a Baijiu bottle that was, sneaky sneaky, filled with water. This game worked until he reached the table of his friends, of the same age, who discovered the trick and had no shame to air it. Hence: "Brother, let's change glasses!" Off he went.. roughly 60 more guests to go.. pants down.. and a looooot to drink. He changed colour alternatively from red to white... Well, I won't tell you that I was as cruel as to contribute to his "defeat".. But hey, he had had 40 shots already.. so what would one more change anyway.. ;) He puked and was totally out afterwards... One objective of a Chinese wedding seemed attained: spoil the romantic wedding night... Sorry Rena.. ;)
• The bride has to suffer, smilingly, as well While the groom has to drink, the bride is to fulfil any kind of wish a guest may have. We, therefore, saw Rena on the shoulders of Bai Hao, lighting cigarettes of guests who just felt like having the cigarette lit while standing on a chair, etc. Artistic and impressive Rena! Especially in a (second) red, absolutely beautiful, tight robe as you wore! ;)

To be as close to a bit of Chinese culture while participating in a great day in the life of a friend was as much of a pleasure as a privilege. I enjoyed it a lot and wish Bai Hao and Rena the best of luck and less disturbing and nasty guests and friends (at least when it come to the Baijiu) then the ones they had during the wedding... ;)


Btw: I've heard that Bai Hao is sober again.. ;)

chinese culture, wedding, exoweb, pictures